Slutty Costumes + Surinder + Mustaches

To all of our slutty devils/pirates/cats/race car drivers/puck bunnies/ normal bunnies/ bugs bunnies/waldos/cowgirls/ dragons/ drag queens/ Nicki Minaj/and Selena Gomez lookalikes happy halloweekend. Hopefully your days have been candy coated and your nights questionable.

While other esteemed writers may deplore the provocative nature of the youth of today’s Halloween costumes remember that for every fishnet used in a costume, 10,000 Atlantic Salmon are saved daily. So candy coat your moral apples with that bad boy.

Regardless this time of year is more than just a celebration of bare legs and torsos, its a time of reflection. Coinciding with the passing of October into November comes a rare moment in time when, within the span of two seconds, it is both Halloween, TYA’s own Sur- “Caboose” -inder and the first second of Movember (the annually prostate cancer awareness month). What does it mean for you? It means that during the next month you can look forward to watching the hair follicles on Surinder’s upper lip blossom into a symphony of the finest and thickest mustache hairs this side of Brampton. The best part is that you and Surinder will be finding this out at the same time because he doesn’t know we signed him up yet. Oops!

But there’s still two nights of Halloweekend.to enjoy. Have a good one!

Trickin and treatin 4 lyfe,

TYAMTL

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Imma Let You Finish But Beyonce…

HAD THE BEST MUSIC VIDEO OF ALL TIME:

I think the people waiting in line for smoked meat can testify that Kevin and I are embarrassingly obsessed with this song. I’m not even embarrassed.

This song is so good I wish I was pregnant. This song is so good I want to get my locks changed just so I can change keys like her. This song is so good it overthrows Libyan dictators.

Realistically though I’ll be sick of it in a day at the rate we’re going. Oh well. Until then,

Mark (and Kevin in spirit)

Is It Sex?!

Taken from my Facebook newsfeed via TYA’s number one commenter. And College Humour too…

In today’s world of sexual promiscuity, it can be hard for young people to stay chaste until marriage. As all sorts of new erotic fads continue to blur the line between virginity and virsinity, I offer this thought-provoking exercise to help you orient your moral compass (your dick) (or perhaps vagina):

Lisa and David have been dating for six months, and for their anniversary decide to finally go all the way. They engage in protected vaginal intercourse, but after five minutes, David, nervous about his performance, pulls out, ejaculates prematurely, and vomits up a few of Lisa’s earrings that had gone missing before passing out. Is it sex?

Arthur is a man of tremendous ejaculatory power and accuracy. He stimulates himself to orgasm while his wife lays prone on the other side of a long dinner table. With a great cry of release, he lets forth a concentrated torrent of semen directly into his wife’s uterine canal, impregnating her instantaneously. Nine months later, she gives birth to beautiful twin baby girls. Is it sex?

Roger and Diana are engaging in a vigorous bout of mutual masturbation. As Roger is about to climax, Diana knocks him unconscious with a savage blow to the jaw. She captures his ejaculate in a mason jar and mails it to his sister Emma a month later, along with a $25 gift card to Yankee Candle. Is it sex?

Frieda is a professional model. While on the catwalk displaying the newest fall fashions, her prosthetic leg catches the hem of her dress, simultaneously catapulting her forward and tearing the clothes from her body. Entirely nude and missing a leg, Frieda somersaults directly onto the erect penis of Bernard, a pervert sitting in the front row. Though Bernard is overjoyed, Frieda is greatly surprised, and begins to thrash in all directions, her violent motions eventually bringing Bernard to orgasm. Is it sex?

Otis, a vagrant who suffers from a number of neurodegenerative venereal diseases, finds a rock that strongly resembles a phallus. He gouges at the earth with it for several days until he has carved out a large hole; he crawls inside it and promptly dies. Is it sex?

Francine, a giantess, and Polly, a dwarfess, are sapphic lovers. Due to her small stature, Polly is able to climb entirely inside of Francine’s vagina and enter her body cavity, where she can stay for hours at a time. While not at all erotically stimulating, it provides both of them with a great deal of personal satisfaction and a sense of achievement. Is it sex?

Greg and Pablo are arm-wrestling. They are identical twins of equal strength. Also, they are both sado-masochists. After an hour of neither giving an inch, they both climax violently, leaving the contest undecided. They then enjoy a casual dinner at an upscale bistro. IS IT SEX????

 

The World’s Hardest Accent To Imitate

Mavrick Sabre was born to English parents in Ireland. He then moved to Jamaica and recently returned to the UK to blow up the music scene. What he lacks in looks (you can leave that to nude pics for PETA) he makes up for with talent.

Though this song has been played to death its a good example of his voice. Check it out:

And here our two of my favourites of his:

Enjoy!

❤ Mark

Sweet mother of Japan

First of all, on behalf of two of us here at TYA, we’d like to wish Taiwan a happy 100th birthday!

Following this Asian themed post, here’s a video further demonstrating Japan’s superiority over all things cool:

Anyway, we’re enjoying our last moments of reprieve before midterms hit us in our faces with the force equivalent to 40% of our final mark.

Cheers.

 

Some Things To Be Thankful For

We make more than just t-shirts...

Well ladies and gentlemen its that time of year once again. The leaves are turning, the campuses have emptied out and all across Canada people are  with their families to giving thanks. Here at the TYA family we’ve got a lot of reasons to be thankful. But easily the best news is that:

THE FALL 2011 LINE IS OFFICIAL RELEASED

As we speak the rest of the TYA crew is hard at work putting together the finishing touches on our newest designs. In case you’ve forgotten here’s what they look like:

Keep an eye out for one of us or send an order to thousandyearsltd@gmail.com if you want one of the designs.

Now I can’t speak for the rest of the TYA fam but to me, at least, this weekend means more than turkey and t-shirts. There’s a lot to be thankful and so I give to you….

MARK’S TOP 5 THINGS TO BE THANKFUL FOR THIS THANKSGIVING

NUMBER 5: NOT HAVING INTERNET

After Kevin,Shaq and I moved in we didn’t have internet for a couple weeks. At first none of us were very happy about it but after a little bit we began to accept our fate and realize that there’s more to life than facebook. For the important stuff we’d go to the library and the rest of the time we’d just entertain ourselves, hang out and enjoy having our own place.

NUMBER 4: HAVING INTERNET

But let’s be real here: I love the internet. Facebook is life. Getting it was like having the tingling sensation when your foot falls asleep finally going away. Its not like you’re in pain but it feels good once its over. Where else do you find this kinda thing:

NUMBER 3: ZIPPER FLIES

I don’t know if there’s a trend going on with pants and button flies but peeing is so much more enjoyable when you don’t have to fiddle with buttons before. When I find a nice pair of jeans with a good zipper fly I lock that shit down.

NUMBER 2: FRIENDS AND FAMILY

Being with family and good friends is what the holidays are all about, regardless of what the holiday is. I had the pleasure to spend thanksgiving with both:

The TYA Fam

Big Pimp Daddy

NUMBER ONE: SRIRACHA

Sweet. Spicy. Tangy. Sensual. These bold flavours amalgamating in your mouth in a perfect harmony of flavour and heat. It is sad how much of this I’ve been eating. At least once a day if not more. I’ve even used it as salad dressing. Cooking tip: try putting some in scrambled eggs before you cook it and after. Thank you, Sriracha.

So there you have it, a little something from our TYA family to yours. Happy Thanksgiving and Shona Tova if you’re into that kinda thing.

Love,

Mark and the rest of TYA