Last night Beyonce and Jay-Z gifted the world with a child, Blue Ivy Carter. I don’t know why I’m so hyped up about this, but I can’t help it. The talent that is in that baby’s genes… I can’t even.
Ever since Beyonce’s adorable VMA announcement,we’ve been following @beyoncejayfetus on Twitter to keep updated, you know, on what’s up in the womb. It’s actually hysterically funny, the wittiest fetus you’ll ever meet. Some choice examples:
“I get free in lullaby what you pay hundreds to see in concert.”
“Beyonce is my ride for the next few months. And yours is?”
“Hilary Duff’s fetus. #talkaboutawkward”
And post-birth, Beyonce/Jay Fetus has become @theHovaJr, equally hilarious.
“Suri…I can hear you crying…”
In honour of Princess Carter, here is a retrospective of her parent’s careers, narrated by BeyonceJayFetus:
“Who run this motha?” Me.
I’ll never understand dad’s “Hard Knock Life.”
“1+1” equals me.
Got 99 problems but my family tree aint one.
I kick so hard mothaf@**$rs wanna fine me.
Back to school tomorrow. Good luck everyone!